People who know me well know my life verse is Jeremiah 29:11 - I know the plans I have for you says the Lord, plans for good and not evil; to give you a FUTURE and a HOPE!
Anyone who knows me well enough knows that Jeremiah 29:11 is my life verse. This is the verse that has gotten me through the last 7 years of my walk and journey with Abba Father and Yeshua. I love the way the Complete Jewish Bible says it. I am also posting verses 12-14 as well, as it will have special meaning to me as I am isolating and feeling as if I am exiled or cut off my everyone. Jeremiah 29:11-14 (11) For I know what plans I have in mind for you,' says ADONAI,'plans for well-being, not for bad things; so that you can have hope and a future. (12) When you call to me and pray to me, I will listen to you. (13) When you seek me, you will find me, provided you seek for me wholeheartedly; (14) and I will let you find me,' says ADONAI. 'Then I will reverse your exile. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have driven you,' says ADONAI, 'and bring you back to the place from which I exiled you.' Hope and a future is what I have been given since giving my life to whom I call my Lord and Savior Yeshua. He has taken all the broken pieces and bad things in my life and has used them to bring him Glory and honor. I have done so much in my life to fail in every area of my life. And the things I did accomplish, I did them to spite those in my life who said I would never amount to anything. And I would brag about how I was the only one in my family with a high school diploma and a college degree as well as being in the military and being honorably discharged. What I did not realize till I came to the Lord, was how none of those things would have been possible without the Lord working in the background giving me the ability to accomplish those things in my life. Growing up it was as if we kids were invisible as our birth mother walked out on us kids and our dad was an alcoholic and an abuser. We could call on our dad and most times he could not answer either because he was in bed drunk or down the road at a bar. The only time he seemed to be around was when he needed someone to use as a punching bag. And all us kids were doomed to be failures. But when I call upon my Abba Father, I know he hears me. Not only that, but he answers. And he does so with compassion, mercy and love. And lately I have spent a lot of time crying out to him as I feel like such a failure right now. I feel as not only will I fail myself, but I will fail my Father in heaven. He says that when I seek him, that I will find him. Provided I seek him with my whole heart. And that is how I have walked this journey the last 7 years. To seek my Father with everything that is within me. There is no shortcut or easy way to walk this journey of faith. It is all or nothing for me. I will not be happy with religiosity. I have to have that in-depth personal relationship with my Father as well as my Savior. The walk that my friends have is not good enough for me, nor will it get me where I need to be in my relationship with Him. I cannot let the Pastor in the pulpit, nor those around me walk this walk. I cannot expect them to wave a magic wand and all my woes will be over with. But what I can expect, is that when I call out to my Father, is that he will hear me and he will answer me. It may not be the answer I was looking for, but it will be what is best for me. And Abba Father says, he will let me find him. How does that work for me? I can only find him if I am truly seeking him with my whole heart. So he promises me that he will allow me to find him. But no only that, he will reverse my exile. He will bring me back to the place where I was exiled from. There is so many ways this can be interpreted. For me it means that he will bring me back into a right relationship with him. When I was born, I was born to be in relationship with my Father. But as I got older, I strayed from that for many reasons. But as I seek him daily, he is bringing me from that exile back into relationship with him. He will also be with me during this time I am exiled from those around me as I try to use what he has put on this earth to naturally heal my body of this cancer. Am I the healer? Absolutely no way. But I have a responsibility to take care of my body and to use the things that he has put on this earth to heal my body. Ultimately He is the only who is the healer. But for me, he expects me to to make wise choices in my life as well. Outside of losing my son 11 years ago, this will be one of the most hardest things I am going through in my life. And it will be a life long change for me in that if I expect to live a healthy life, then I have to make healthier choices in life. I cannot walk around in life eating and doing whatever I want with my body and then expect Abba Father to heal me if I don't do my part. Please know that this is a personal journey for me and these are the things I have spent much time in prayer about and these are the things that he has put on my heart. I am in no way making judgments on other people. This is a personal journey for me and what I feel he is speaking to my heart. I am so blessed to know each person in my life and I appreciate all the wisdom, encouraging words and prayers that have been said and continue to be said on my behalf. Thank you all for being in my life and helping me to get to where I am in my walk with the Lord. I will miss you all in the next 30 days. But I am reminded of how much I love you all and cannot wait till this is over and what the Lord is going to do as a result of being obedient to what I feel he is calling me to. Thanks for the continual prayers. Love, Candy
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